Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
