THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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