Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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