just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
