There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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