can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
