So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he shaved USA in his pubs
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
