never play flip cup with pint glasses
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
