mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
