I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
honey bunches of taint.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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