He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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