If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
