Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
