One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
