ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
