you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
