So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
