my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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