operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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