Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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