my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
