ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
