You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
