In the future we'll all be gay
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
