Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
