He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
