I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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