i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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