She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
