Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
