in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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