I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
try to milk me bitch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
