She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
