I'm drive I can fine osifer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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