You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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