You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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