we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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