A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
