i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We left the knife in your bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
