just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You're like the curious george of whores
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
