it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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