Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
