I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
