I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
