i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
