The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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