dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
