i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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