Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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