My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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