I'm going to jail i love you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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